Spoiler Alert: This transfer resulted in a BFN beta test (Big Fat Negative).
Thursday July 24, the day before the due date of our angel baby, we transferred 2 beautiful embryos (both were non-tested, good/good graded embryos). With a new protocol of meds that reflected findings from our uterine biopsy and the highest level of optimism we’ve had, we were so ready to welcome these 2 little loves. Here is a look into the cycle prep this time around:
June 10 (CD3) - started birth control pills and baby aspirin
June 14: started a vaginal care probiotic and the Zyflamend supplement to help with any inflammation (after receiving our uterine biopsy results)
June 24: started daily Lupron injections (10 units) and Doxycycline (100mg 2x a day)
June 28: took last birth control pill
July 1: Baseline monitoring appointment Ultrasound showed my uterine lining was nice and thin (2.7mm) and my ovaries were quiet and no cysts were present
July 2: started Estrace pills (a.k.a. Estrogen) 2x in the morning and 2x at night; started Letrozole
July 3: started bleeding but stopped by the end of the day
July 6: took last Letrozole pill
July 9: Monitoring appointment Triple layer pattern in uterine lining and measuring at 6.15mm
July 9: added 1 vaginal insert of the Estrace pill every night
July 15: took last Doxycycline and Zyflamend
July 16: Monitoring appointment Triple layer pattern in uterine lining still present but lining had only progressed to 6.9-7.2mm. Decided to postpone transfer and give my body a few extra days to see if lining could get to 8mm
July 16: started liquid iron supplement daily
July 19: Monitoring appointment Triple layer pattern in uterine lining still present and lining thickness ranged between 7-9.2mm. Was cleared for transfer
July 19: did last Lupron injection; started Progesterone injections at 8pm (specific timing due to ERA uterine biopsy test)
July 21: started Azithromycin (both of us)
July 23: took last Azithromycin (both of us)
July 24: Frozen Embryo Transfer with 2 (non-tested) good/good embryos Did acupuncture immediately before and after
July 24: started Prednisone
July 26: took last Predinsone
August 5: Negative best test; stopped Estrace, progesterone and baby aspirin
But before we jump into the negative beta test, I thought I would recap what the 12 days after transfer was like. This is my third transfer (and 4th cycle taking most of these meds since we did them for the uterine biopsy cycle too), so I am pretty familiar with the symptoms I usually get. Along with the normal amount of extreme fatigue, tender breasts and some nausea/vomiting, this time I started getting twinges of pain/cramps in my abdomen a couple days after transfer, along with a throbbing feeling in my vagina at times. Based on what Dr. Google said and other IVF warriors I spoke to, the cramps and throbbing could all be good signs (possible evidence that something is happening in that area). With all of these symptoms, I felt there was no way this transfer didn’t work and we HAD to be pregnant.
But I was wrong.
Neither of our embryos implanted. All of the sacrifice, impact on my body, thousands of dollars spent, and hope was for nothing. We were out...again...for the third time (sixth time if you count the failed IUIs). So now we have to wait a week and a half to discuss the next steps with our doctor.
This time it’s different though. We don’t know what that next step is going to look like. Clearly something is wrong and not allowing us to get or stay pregnant. We don’t know if its our embryos since we chose (with our doctors advice) not to have them tested or maybe there is something wrong with me (ex. My body could be attacking the embryos thinking they are a bad foreign object). Trying to find more answers will cost money. Trying another transfer or even doing another egg retrieval and testing the new embryos will cost money. But besides the cost, I don’t know how much more I can put my body through. I have been on some variety of fertility meds since May 2018 when we did our first IUI. Think about someone with the worst first trimester pregnancy symptoms and I have felt that way almost every day since May 2018...that’s almost 455 days of feeling like crap. It’s hard to feel awful all the time for so long.
We aren’t ready to give up on having a family. We just aren’t sure what the next step in that journey is going to be. So until the WTF appointment (What the Fuck) with our doctor, we are going to grieve the loss of our third transfer. Even though it didn’t work and we didn’t become pregnant from it, there is just as much grief that goes into that result. But I’ll save topic for another blog post later.
“There is a unique pain that comes from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes.” - David Platt
**This is not meant to be medical advice. Be sure to consult your doctor with any medical concerns. This is the account of my personal journey through infertility**
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